Prayers and Wishes for those in the Gulf Coast

Watching since Katrina hit and devastated the Gulf Coast has really depressed me but I keep watching for some reason.
Today I remembers a couple of guys that I used to chat to in the HardPornLounge site, Bart aka Trab and Ken Bean aka ThatPorchDawg, both of these men lived in the New Orleans area, Ken with his dog and Bart with his family...tonight my prayers are with these men and their families and my hopes that they are all okay. Ken was moving to Houston supposedly last year but I lost touch with him so I hope that he did make the move and wasn't witness to the destruction Hurricane.

Today the media is blasting those individuals who are taking the law into their own hands with looting and causing chaos in the New Orleans area and some in the Biloxi area. When I first heard about it I condemned those individuals also, but after watching today I realized that's what I would probably do too if I was in their shoes....A lot of these folks are poor and never had any way to escape Katrina, or they had sick family members and did not want or could not leave them. Now the desperation is setting in with no sign of help for these people, so looting an already destroyed store is occuring. I don't condone those idiots who are using guns and violence, because I am firmly against the gun laws of the U.S....freedom to bear arms my Ass!!!!
Anyway, if I was poor and stuck with no water, no sewer, my house destroyed and water at least knee deep all around me I can't say I wouldn't be doing the same thing they are with the looting...I would do everything I could do to make sure my family had the essentials to survive.
It's fine to say that help is on the way, but that's only because we who are watching the news can access that information....these poor people in the flooded areas do not probably have access....
And what is this bullshit about the prisoners in the prison's getting help to leave when law abiding citizen's are dying on the sides of the roads???...that's just crap

I wish I could turn the Television off and the computer and the newspapers and just live in my little bubble and not see the sadness and despair that these thousands of people are living with since Katrina but I can't....
I got the opportunity after the Tsunami to assist Habitat for Humanity in Sri Lanka and I hope that at some point in time in the next year I will get the chance to head down south to help also.
Please do your part any way you can, donate to the American Red Cross, or the Salvation Army or look up on the internet the other Organizations that are helping out the victims of Katrina.
It doesn't matter where in the World you are, a victim is a victim regardless of the Country they are in and they all need our help.....We are one

Mother Nature

While waiting for the repairman today I have been watching CNN and the catastrophic results of Hurricane Katrina. My thoughts and prayers go out to those who are affected by this natural disaster. When are people going to learn that you don't play with Mother Nature.
Up here on the west coast of Canada, we don't get Hurricane's, or Tornado's, just the occasional Earthquake and a dreary wet Winter, but I know for sure if a Hurricane was going to be heading my way I would certainly do everything in my power to get the hell out of the way. There isn't any material's in my house that aren't replaceable, other than my photo-albums everything else can be rebought. I saw pictures of people sitting in their homes waiting out the storm, do they not realize that they could have just as easily died? I have had friends who have lost their homes in these disasters but they still have their lives. What is more important?
With these natural disasters it brings out the good and the bad in people. Crazy media people out in the Hurricane, someone give them a smack in the head. People helping people, it is at times like this that humanity has to shine through. Looting was rampant in parts of some cities and price gouging had also started. I hope these bastards realize what comes around goes around. The scarey part of the day for me was watching the President address his country about the disaster and realizing why some people voted for him, the father figure syndrome....
Again, my thoughts and prayers are with those who are effected by Katrina....Good Luck

Rant day: Ignorant Smokers

Attention all ignorant Smokers!!!!
Now before I get that 30% of the population pissed off at me, I did say ignorant smokers not all smokers.......even though I think Smokers stink
Driving down the road I see those "ignorant" smokers flick their still lit butts out the windows, there are those few arsenic laced butts that roll into the dried grasses on sides of the roads and ignite...."Poof" a fire erupts and that ignorant smoker just keeps going down the road flicking his or her butts out the window....This makes me so mad I want to ram those selfish bastard's vehicles and take them by the hair and make them pick the butts up...sort of like what you do with a puppy when they have done their business on the floor, put their noses close to the floor....Yes, I have smoked at a time in my life but only when I drank and was at the bar. The time was not long and every morning I woke up stinky and my lungs ached from the poison's I had inhaled. Kissing a smoker is like licking a dirty ashtray, no if's and's or butt's about it.
Really, most smokers are selfish, as they don't care if they blow second hand smoke into my air. If you don't care about your own health that's fine, your friend's and family will have to worry about that when you die of some smoker's related death but I don't care to have your shit in my lungs or your poisoned butt's in my environment.

Men rings or something

I think there should be a law out there that dictates a man who is married, engaged, seriously involved or is just a player should have to wear some kind of warning system so that women can get an early caution. No more of this SOME married men wear a ring, ALL MARRIED MEN should have to wear one. The early warning system could go off with loud alarms when a man says he isn't seeing anyone or that his girlfriend and him aren't together anymore...."LIAR LIAR LIAR" would be a great alarm sound ....Now that isn't to say some women don't care, but some women just aren't that swift when it comes to men and relationships...Whether passing out in a man's shower and then him yelling at you while unconscience, "you can't stay on the floor like that my wife will be home in a few hours", or "so if I did tell you I was married would you still let me spend the night" or "please I need someone to talk to, you are the only one I can talk to and my girlfriend and I aren't together anymore"....Something has to be done before more innocent and naive women befall the wrath of the unfaithful man...

Early warning signs

Must be home before 10 pm
You only have his work number and his cell number
He only calls you from work, or a corner pay phone
If he does call from home he suddenly has to go "real quick"
He says he is separated but talks to his wife everyday
He lives with his wife but they don't sleep together
He can only see you during the week


So like what's his name from Hill Street Blues used to say "Be Careful out there"

Disclaimer: the author of this piece is in no way a professional concerning this topic and will deny that she knows anything about it.........

Less dark times...around 1984

this is dedicated to someone that i really feel a great deal about....
i don't know how he will feel but here it is...


as i lay awake i look over at you
sleeping so young and innocently
the shape of your face is shadowed by a flickering candle
such distinct features;
a nose of perfection
the eyes and lashes of an infant
you hold me tightly
letting me forget all that is wrong
so secure and warm you make me feel

i yearn to touch your skin
to feel the tenderness and love you show me

my fingers feel the bristle of a days unshaven face
even they seem to soften to my touch
as i run my hand over your face
its silky as a baby's skin

now as i gaze as my sleeping beauty
there seems to be no worry in his face
just thoughts of his boyhood dreams
which at one time filled his growing mind

i realize
this sleeping face is one of a boy
an innocent child
who must become a many everytime he wakes...

Passing time

The years have passed, ones of which I longed for you each day.
I guess it was the happiness you made me feel that made me want you more and more.
It had its ups and downs
Me and the world around have grown slightly but you and yours seem to have remained the unchanged.
Maybe I would be better off if I could get you out of my thoughts but then would my life be the same?
You taught me manys things Sir,
It was you to actually taught me how to care for someone.
I guess it was something you really didn't want to teach me.
You didn't even know at the time that you were
I was very mixed up and emotionally distraught when you grabbed a hold of me
It caught me off guard and swept me away
Nobody had ever held me like you did
Made me feel like I did when I was with you
I in turn guess scared you because you realized that I hadn't taken it as a game like you
You will always be special to me, even though to you I will only make bad things happen and bring back terrible memories
Maybe if it was a different time and a different place we could have cared for each other...
but like I said only maybe....

remember I
as the dreamer
will forever live because
as you know
dreams and the dreamer never die....


A moment of laughter...

You made me laugh
made me cry
Forgetting the tears that I had earlier cried
Relaxed and at ease
Once again opened up for a happier moment

But then the curtain fell
The scene was over

All the players masks removed
They were not as they seemed
We were not as we wanted to be
You were not as I wished you'd be

The performance had achieved it's goal
Personal success

The play over...
It had made me laugh but now I cry...


everything must have a beginning and an end...
of course...
Words though flow from one sentence to the other resulting in a thought or a feeling...
my words flow forever in and out of my life
I have my favourites and my not's...
Just remember:

Love the hated
and I truly love you much

More poems found....early 80's dark times

Cares or KNows....

Alone and unloved, what is she to do?
All grown up and still no one to turn to...
Her life seems so meaningless why is she here?
Why not end it now before it gets any worse?
One less person now in the world, and still no one knows or cares.

Burning Tears....

These tears that so often flow through my beatened and battered soul;
Only these tears bring pain...
The pain that I always seem to attain, it bores into the emptiness of my heart.
The pain is bitter and sharp, it leaves the outside the same....
Empty and throbbing feelings which cut deeply into my hollow soul....
The burning sensation and scraping fear drain into my hardened expression.
These invisible scars will forever remain because of these tears that eternally flow.

My Trusted Friend...

We've spent many a day together but those days were mainly in the minds of each other.
The times we spend with the secrets we shared.
Lest we not forget the laughter that brightened our days and the good times that we hoped and made for each other.
But now as time goes on my friend it seems we drift apart.
It brings a tear to my sullen eye for the thoughts we told are so far away.
Your thoughts now seem to be shared with those I do not know.
Without you dear friend the world is one angry place, there is no one to help me in my times of despair.
Whenever I was feeling down, it was you who got me up and told me to smile and not to cry.
It was you who always listened to my troubles though they seemed so little indeed.
I always had hoped that you in turn could come to me whenever you were feeling down.

So now my trusted friend, please don't fade away for as we grow the thoughts we share mean that you and me will always be there.....

Night escape...

laying still afraid to move
the only feeling is pain
it hurts...
tearing away at my body and mind
release me
let me loose
i must defend my honor
it's not supposed to be this way
i'm supposed to feel only pleasure and never wanting it to end
but no!!!
i'm yelling for help!!!
please, help me i'm dying
i'm being quickly robbed of myself
treated like dirt
an object
worse a thing of no existance
i'm not like that
please believe me
they've made me look this way
taken advantage of me

when the battle is over
the pain i'm told will cease to exist
but for me it will remain
scar me for life
stored in the memory of my soul
rescuing me from feeling for anyone
i will always remember the pain and anguish
the feelings of being used and violently tossed aside
alone to mend my wounds
it will harden my feelings for life and living
lock away my emotions for the dreamer and romantic within
somewhere inside my battered soul.....

a dreamer...
maybe...
i'm now living a nightmare, one that will last until I wake.......

will I wake?

The Mask...

A mask to which most of us wear,
Pretending to be something we're not,
Forgetting though that the only person you can't fool or hide from is yourself,
As thick as the make-up or as hollow as the eyes you are still there,
Something has to hold up the mask,
Someone the strength to put it on in the morning and take it off at night,
Remember, sleep knows of no masks,
The sub-conscience sees only through the eyes not the slits that are cut wide enough to see out but no one to see in.
To see in would show another face,
The one that bleeds when cut and cries when hurt,
No, this mask is made of sadness and anger,
And held together by the many tears which fell upon it

First attempt

I have been tearing apart my house looking for my book of stories and poetry. All I have found so far is dog hair and paper with doodling on it. I have been writing for many years mainly short stories and poetry. I also wrote some pretty hot exotic stories that a few years ago were published along with some poetry. But of course I can't find them when I want them.
So here is my first attempt at poetry when I was in Junior High School, it was a short poem about my Dad dying when I was 9 years old.

When I was young you were always there,
As I got older the thoughts we shared,
But then you had to go away...
You Loving memory will always stay,
Now is now, the Past is past should Childhood Dreams forever last.

American Drug Czar vs Marc Emery

So the big wig American DRug Czar comes to Canada to spew his venom and while he is blowing his horn our very own Marc Emery is in the crowd cat calling his speech...this upsets Mr Big Wig very much so he goes home and cries to his fellow blow hards and WHAMMO the American Idiots (not the band) come full cocked into Canada and arrest Mr Emery for selling pot seeds over the internet. You would think that Mr A.D.C would have enough problems in his own country with crack cocaine and chrystal meth but once again the politicians who can't solve problems within their own borders go out and take the focus off their own and put it onto a lesser weaker foe. It makes me just hurl.........

By the way you can't automatically have a marjiuana grow op by buying pot seeds over the internet. You have to know which plant is male and which plant is female, germinate them, spend thousands of dollars and many blown brain cells on equipment....growing marjiuana is not an easy task as I learned when I was a teenager. My mom liked the plants, so I got some seeds from a friend's brother and stuck them in the ground....they grew but they were harmless green trees, not one ounce of pot could be cultivated...but my mom had her nice green plants she liked and I discovered that grow-ops just weren't my forte.

More later when I actually want to waste my time on the idiots in power and not on the important things going on in the world